unanswered questions/.

Monday, December 08, 2008

// 12:36 PM;

ok, i need to post some serious stuff.

sigh, i've been doing a lot a lot of thinking.
last night especially.
i was having this massive headache and i felt i was about to faint any minute. so i quickly bathed + blow hair and went to sleep. (or at least lie on my bed)

i was scared. scared that i might just faint there and people would think that i was just asleep. and since i didn't know the cause of my headache, for all i know i could be dying. and i would just die in my sleep without people knowing.

i looked back on my life, or at least the recent few years that i could remember clearly.
what have i accomplished?
what have i learnt?
what have i discovered about myself?

honestly, i don't feel much accomplishment. i find my life so wasted. it's the holidays and i'm steadily rotting away. because i choose too.
i wasted so much time on idolising and stuff. not to mention money, but that's another issue.

i want to press the reset button. but there isn't any.
i feel like crying out of desperation.

how i wish i could pour everything out to someone.
someone who wouldn't be prejudiced.
someone who wouldn't be a total hypocrite and give you a pat on the back and say it's ok, everything will be fine.

sigh, i need productivity.

---

I still want to learn korean!

and to ger: i'm not giving you up, nor the clique, that's insane. i was talking about smt else. don't assume you know though! it's hush hush. :/

comment?